Sunday, 9 May 2010

I'm a Nanny

Putri

People are wishing me Happy Mother's Day this year which, I find awkward.

Besides addressing myself as "Mommy" to Putri, deep inside I always forgot that I'm playing a role as somebody's mother now. My stepchildren (from my husband's previous marriage) also calls me Mommy but nobody wishes me on Mother's Day before. I never asked my stepchildren to call me "mother" anyway (because I afraid such request might hurt them). I give them freedom to call me whatever they want, so when they choose to call me Mummy, it is more than I could ask for. I always believe their real mother is the best mother for them and she's the one who deserves all her children's love and affections.

You see, a spouse may leave you but parents and children, they are forever yours until akhirat pun tak akan putus. So I'm happy for those who are blessed with children, as they're the most precious gift one could ever own.

Looking back at the previous years, Mother's Day always makes me cry. I'm not crying because nobody's wishing me Happy Mother's Day, but I'm crying because I know God would listen. I'm not crying because I'm angry and blaming God why I can't get pregnant, but I cry because I think only He knows my destiny. And another thing is because, I'm afraid one day I would be alone when I'm sick and old.

Early this year, I determined not to cry anymore, and that I want to live my life appreciating those who have been by my side all these while. And one pray to God, if it's good for me, I'm still waiting for Him to send me a baby. One month later, Putri came knocking our door. So I try as much as possible, to accept her with open heart, with a promise to take care of her like her own mother, as long as she needs me.

But as I said earlier, I always forgot that I'm somebody's mom now. The feelings are more like a sister (maybe because I'm used to taking care of my 7 younger siblings, and maybe because I can't relate myself with the feelings of having a baby inside my womb). Most of the time, I'm treating her like a sister. I tease her, make her cry and play with her like a child. Ironically, since the day she arrived, she likes to say "Papa" instead of "Mama". And now she's getting better at calling my husband "Papa" or "Bapak". I think she said "Nan" or Nenen" when pointing at me... terdetik juga dihati maybe she calls me Nanny. Hahahahaha.

I'll wait till Putri can talk, to see if she's going to call me Mommy anyway :)

So everybody, Thank You Very Much for all the Mother's Day wishes. Syukur kepada Allah kerana memberi saya rasa ini.

p/s: Arh, I forgot...I'm a mom to Blender too. Sampai sekarang anak aku yg sorang tu tak balik2 :( Mummy miss you lah Blender. Pulanglah sempena Hari Ibu ini. Kepada yang tak tahu, Blender adalah kucing saya yang hilang sejak 2 minggu lepas.

16 comments:

Faisal Admar said...

i hope putri is not a cat as i read this kind of post before :P

mangosteenskin said...

Hahahahaha, Faisal...Putri is not a cat. But Blender, yess.

feltralicious said...

Salam Mango,

Janganla ko rasa sedih2, mana tau ni suma dugaan dari Allah and jg mana tau ada rahmat di sebalik semua ini. Cheers babe and Happy Mother's day!

Ummi-Izah said...

Assalamualaikum Mai..

Kalo baca posting2 yang macam nih mudah sgt hati nih terusik..Ummi cuma dapat doakan semoga Allah beri yang terbaik utk Mai..and not to forget semoga Blender cepat pulang yer..

Selamat Hari Ibu dear friend..

mangosteenskin said...

Salam feltralicious,

TQ. Ya, segala yang berlaku pasti ada sebabnya. Aku cheers2 aja ni sudah. Happy Mother's Day to you too. :)

mangosteenskin said...

Waalaikumusalam Ummi,

Kita wanita walau macamanapun kata hati ni kuat, adakalanya pecah juga tembok empangan ni...berderai juga airmata. Yalah Ummi, Allah sahaja yang tahu perancangan-Nya untuk kita. Daripada kita bersedih-sedih, lebih baik kita hargai saja apa yang kita ada kerana semuanya sementara.

Ya sayapun berharap juga Blender akan pulang. Jika dia masih hidup tapi enggan pulang, semoga dia bertemu tuan yang baik untuk dirinya.

Selamat Hari Ibu juga buat Ummi.

Azlina Abdul said...

It's true Mango....life is short...so make the best of what we have now....coz if we think too much we can go crazy and depressed all the time. So stop thinking too much about what is bothering you and live life to the fullest...the best way we know how. (I ni pandai cakap jer tapi I pun sama laaa huhuhuhu...takpe kita saling memperingati ye) Will keep praying for you! and Blender too! Hope he is safe somewhere...insyaallah Tuhan pelihara dia....

edi said...

mango,
i have 2 sons yet sometimes i dont feel like a mommy too! so dont worry, u'll do good, mango. bila kita ikhlas, insya allah balasannya sangat besar :-)
take care.

mangosteenskin said...

Lin,
Hehe... kdg2 funny jg kenapa blog jd tempat menulis benda2 mcm ni. I tak suka actually...kalau boleh nak tulis benda2 art saja. Thanks so much Lin, eventhough we never met, but I always have u in mind as 1 of my good friend. :)

Kak edi,
kak edi pun sama. Selalu bagi dorongan. komen selalu pendek tp penuh isi. TQ! Hehe. Ai ai kak edi!

AbGJaS said...

Hi Mangosteenskin,
Tersentuh hati membaca pos yg ini.
Dlm 1001 kekurangan yg ada, abgjas sangat yakin Allah S.W.T maha tahu apa yg baik utk kita.

Wipe your tears and be happy.. :)

mangosteenskin said...

Abgjas,

Antara ramai2, mungkin abgjas seorang sahaja pengomen di sini yg mmg mengenali saya in person. Adakah saya selalu nampak sedih? Tidak kan? Happy-go-lucky maa...hehe.

Terima kasih atas suntikan semangat itu abgjas. Saya juga percaya Allah tahu apa yang terbaik. :)

AbGJaS said...

Hi mangosteenskin,
'adakah saya selalu nmpk sedih?' Tidak...hehe tu lah bila post ni bernada melankolik, abgjas kuat terpanggil utk memberi komen.

tp tak salah melayan perasaan sekali-sekala kan?

mangosteenskin said...

abgjas,
separuh daripada melankolik itu saja sdh nama saya. hehehehe. memanglah abgjas...hati keras mcmn sekalipun, org bilang keras2 kerak nasi saja kan?

noirjewelry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
noirjewelry said...

alalala mel..bikin sedih pula post ko ni kan?

mel..u dont worry bout Putri k.. i also adopted like Putri n i heart my mama soOooOOooOOO much..she's the closest person in my life n the best mama i ever have..is not that i didnt love my real mother..i love them both..but deep down..i love my mama more..huhu..

so..u dont worry k..Putri will do the same..i think..coz u've been the best mom she's have all this while..rite?

what u give,u get back...
InsyaAllah..all ur wish will come true..sooner or later...;D

Deng said...

Mango, jangan la ba sedih. God knows whats in our hearts and whats best for us. At the mean time, live life to the fullest and say thanks for all the blessings in our lives.